#yesallwomen

[dbskyler]

I've been reading the #yesallwomen Twitter hashtag and it's been simultaneously empowering and depressing.

One of the depressing things is that I would like to join in, but I don't feel comfortable doing so. Well, I also don't have a Twitter account, but I've spent a day now thinking about posting something to Facebook, and I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't want to face the responses I am likely to get. Which, ironically, underscores just how important this hashtag discussion is.

Anyway, if I were more courageous, here's what I would post there:

Because I have been sexually groped, without my consent, in public, by men who thought it was a funny joke. Multiple times. #yesallwomen

What responses do I not want to read? "Maybe they did mean it as a joke. Don't take it so seriously." "What do you mean by 'sexually groped'? Are you sure your boundaries aren't unreasonable?" "If it happened to you multiple times, you must've done something to provoke it."

And the really sad thing is, I am certain that almost every woman reading this has had the same thing happen to her, at one point or other in her life. Which is what men just don't understand. THIS IS NOT AN ABERRATION. THIS KIND OF THING HAPPENS TO ALL WOMEN. ALL THE TIME.

Comments

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Actually, it's never happened to me - I've never been sexually harassed once. I figure there's something wrong with me. Which doesn't mean I don't sympathise with you and everyone else who has.

[thisbluespirit]

(HELLO!!! I had been thinking it'd been a while since I'd seen you in these parts. ♥)

And, yes, it is sad isn't it? There's inevitably such awful backlash in the comments, I wouldn't feel brave enough reblogging anything like that - well, almost anything serious at all. Other than here on LJ.

(And it hasn't happened to all women - I've never been groped by anyone, either.)

[clocketpatch]

This happens to me with distressing regularity.

[ghost2.livejournal.com]

Because I have been sexually groped, without my consent, in public, by men who thought it was a funny joke. Multiple times. #yesallwomen

I was a few times in high school by another student as we walked back to class from lunch--several other students laughing as they watched. I wish I'd had the guts to say something about it to a teacher or another adult. One day I finally turned on the student who was doing it and asked him what was wrong with him. He never touched me again and made an excuse when another student encouraged him to harass me.

[pitry.livejournal.com]

The even sadder thing is that (at least on twitter, I think on FB you could at least set the setting so that not everyone can see and respond?) these would probably be the mild reactions.

What actually pisses me off is how fast the #notallmen or #yesallpeople hashtags showed up. I know the people using them mean well, but it's almost like they're wilfully missing the point.

[lolmac]

Yes. Too many times to count.

Except that the idea that it was a "funny joke" is -- in my experience -- a particularly shoddy form of implausible deniability.