Fic: This Never Happened
Jul. 26th, 2008 02:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dbskylerSo I have gone ahead and posted the new fanfic as the abbreviated version of the previous story, including only the piece that I really liked.
Here is the link to the posted story: http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=24283
And, in case anyone actually ever reads this and is interested, here is the full, all-five-scenes story (spoilers for "Turn Left," "Runaway Bride," "Smith and Jones," "Shakespeare Code," "Fires of Pompeii" and "Sontaran Stratagem / Poison Sky") :
Five Scenes that Never Happened from Series 3 and 4
One
Donna looked up at the Doctor as he stood there, surrounded by fire and water. "Doctor!" she called. "Doctor!"
There was no response . The Doctor stood motionless, staring out at the devastation he had wrought.
Donna was getting soaking wet, and that giant spider yelling "my children" over and over was getting on her nerves. "Well," she said, "if you want to stay here that's fine with me, but hell if I'm staying with you, Spaceman!" With that, she started to make her way out of the sewer until she realized she didn't know which direction to go in. With a resigned sigh, she went back and gave it her loudest shout. "Yo! Martian! Stick figure man with the suit and the pockets and the electrocuted hair! I'm talking to you! Doctor! You can stop now!"
Next thing Donna knew, he was leading her out of there. Because while she had no sense of direction, she was very good at getting someone's attention.
* * *
Two
The Doctor couldn't believe it. Here he was in a hospital pretending to be a patient so he could investigate the plasma coils, and who should turn up but Sarah Jane Smith? "Sarah Jane!" he exclaimed, bouncing out of the bed and clearing at least a foot and a half of space as he leapt to his feet. "What are you doing here? Have you come to investigate the hospital too? This is brilliant! It can be just like old times! I'll go running around making all the discoveries while you ask me questions so I can tell you what's going on, you'll get captured a few times so I can rescue you -- maybe you'll be hypnotized a bit -- then in the end I'll defeat the villain while you watch from the sidelines! How does that sound?"
"Actually, Doctor," said Sarah as she started to back away, "seeing as you've got the hospital covered, I think I'll go ahead and take care of some other business instead. I forgot that I have to wash my hair."
And then she ran.
* * *
Three
"I don't believe this!" exclaimed Ianto. "I know the rift's been acting up lately, but now it's gone and transported the two of us back to Elizabethan England! How are we supposed to get home?"
"Don't worry about it, Ianto," said Jack. "Time has a way of rewriting itself to take care of paradoxes. I'm sure we'll end up back in 21st century Cardiff before long. In the meantime, we should relax and enjoy the holiday." He looked around and gave a sigh. "Too bad about the time period, though. Now if we'd ended up in ancient Rome, I could have shown you a really good time. There's nothing better than an old-fashioned Roman orgy. But I suppose we'll have to make do."
The Carrionite they ran across wasn't much fun, but before they had the chance to get involved, it was all over. On their way to the Globe Theatre Jack caught a glimpse of a man and a woman running in the other direction, and he paused for a moment because there was something about the way the man ran that seemed awfully familiar even though Jack was sure he'd never seen him before. But soon all his musings were driven out of his mind again by more important things. Who knew Shakespeare was into threesomes?
* * *
Four
"It happened again?" exclaimed Ianto. "Elizabethan England was one thing, but now the rift has brought us to Pompeii? On the day before the volcano erupts? We can't leave the area or the rift might not return us home, and what if it doesn't return us home in time? We'll be buried in ash!"
"Not a problem," said Jack with a grin. "I used to run a con that involved Pompeii, and I know exactly where to find an old version of me who can give us a lift home. But first we should see the sights. Come on."
Ianto had the feeling later that perhaps they were overlooking something important, but he had to admit that Jack had been right. There really was nothing better than an old-fashioned Roman orgy. Although the threesome they had next with the other version of Jack was pretty damn good, too.
* * *
Five
UNIT took the lead and told Torchwood they'd better keep out of it, and Jack went along because he knew the Doctor was working with them. After it was all over, UNIT beat out Torchwood in laying claim to the Sontarans' teleportation technology. Colonel Mace was triumphant, but Jack didn't mind in the least. He was quite happy with the clone vat he had retrieved from the basement of the ATMOS factory.
Jack knew lots of things you could do with a clone vat.
Here is the link to the posted story: http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=24283
And, in case anyone actually ever reads this and is interested, here is the full, all-five-scenes story (spoilers for "Turn Left," "Runaway Bride," "Smith and Jones," "Shakespeare Code," "Fires of Pompeii" and "Sontaran Stratagem / Poison Sky") :
Five Scenes that Never Happened from Series 3 and 4
One
Donna looked up at the Doctor as he stood there, surrounded by fire and water. "Doctor!" she called. "Doctor!"
There was no response . The Doctor stood motionless, staring out at the devastation he had wrought.
Donna was getting soaking wet, and that giant spider yelling "my children" over and over was getting on her nerves. "Well," she said, "if you want to stay here that's fine with me, but hell if I'm staying with you, Spaceman!" With that, she started to make her way out of the sewer until she realized she didn't know which direction to go in. With a resigned sigh, she went back and gave it her loudest shout. "Yo! Martian! Stick figure man with the suit and the pockets and the electrocuted hair! I'm talking to you! Doctor! You can stop now!"
Next thing Donna knew, he was leading her out of there. Because while she had no sense of direction, she was very good at getting someone's attention.
* * *
Two
The Doctor couldn't believe it. Here he was in a hospital pretending to be a patient so he could investigate the plasma coils, and who should turn up but Sarah Jane Smith? "Sarah Jane!" he exclaimed, bouncing out of the bed and clearing at least a foot and a half of space as he leapt to his feet. "What are you doing here? Have you come to investigate the hospital too? This is brilliant! It can be just like old times! I'll go running around making all the discoveries while you ask me questions so I can tell you what's going on, you'll get captured a few times so I can rescue you -- maybe you'll be hypnotized a bit -- then in the end I'll defeat the villain while you watch from the sidelines! How does that sound?"
"Actually, Doctor," said Sarah as she started to back away, "seeing as you've got the hospital covered, I think I'll go ahead and take care of some other business instead. I forgot that I have to wash my hair."
And then she ran.
* * *
Three
"I don't believe this!" exclaimed Ianto. "I know the rift's been acting up lately, but now it's gone and transported the two of us back to Elizabethan England! How are we supposed to get home?"
"Don't worry about it, Ianto," said Jack. "Time has a way of rewriting itself to take care of paradoxes. I'm sure we'll end up back in 21st century Cardiff before long. In the meantime, we should relax and enjoy the holiday." He looked around and gave a sigh. "Too bad about the time period, though. Now if we'd ended up in ancient Rome, I could have shown you a really good time. There's nothing better than an old-fashioned Roman orgy. But I suppose we'll have to make do."
The Carrionite they ran across wasn't much fun, but before they had the chance to get involved, it was all over. On their way to the Globe Theatre Jack caught a glimpse of a man and a woman running in the other direction, and he paused for a moment because there was something about the way the man ran that seemed awfully familiar even though Jack was sure he'd never seen him before. But soon all his musings were driven out of his mind again by more important things. Who knew Shakespeare was into threesomes?
* * *
Four
"It happened again?" exclaimed Ianto. "Elizabethan England was one thing, but now the rift has brought us to Pompeii? On the day before the volcano erupts? We can't leave the area or the rift might not return us home, and what if it doesn't return us home in time? We'll be buried in ash!"
"Not a problem," said Jack with a grin. "I used to run a con that involved Pompeii, and I know exactly where to find an old version of me who can give us a lift home. But first we should see the sights. Come on."
Ianto had the feeling later that perhaps they were overlooking something important, but he had to admit that Jack had been right. There really was nothing better than an old-fashioned Roman orgy. Although the threesome they had next with the other version of Jack was pretty damn good, too.
* * *
Five
UNIT took the lead and told Torchwood they'd better keep out of it, and Jack went along because he knew the Doctor was working with them. After it was all over, UNIT beat out Torchwood in laying claim to the Sontarans' teleportation technology. Colonel Mace was triumphant, but Jack didn't mind in the least. He was quite happy with the clone vat he had retrieved from the basement of the ATMOS factory.
Jack knew lots of things you could do with a clone vat.
