frustrations

[dbskyler]

I've been in kind of a weird fandom headspace lately. I haven't been spending much time on LJ or Teaspoon, although I don't feel like I've been missing much as the DW-related traffic has been very slow anyway. I've also been depressed about my latest fanfic story, which not only didn't do very well, I've decided it didn't deserve to do very well after I read it over again. It just really didn't achieve what I wanted it to achieve, and I'm not sure if that's because it was too difficult a set-up to pull off, or if I just failed to pull it off well enough. I spotted the fundamental problem before posting, and I thought I'd managed to solve it, but now I think I was wrong. I also felt very "rusty" while writing it, which isn't a good sign. I think that in order to get better at fanfic writing again, I need to spend more time getting back into fanfic writing.

So, of course, last weekend we had a fic_rush round, and this weekend we had a fic_rush mini-round, and did I take advantage of it? No. Well, I spent time modding, and I can never write while I mod, but I also was around during hours when I wasn't modding, but I just didn't feel like writing. In fact, the mini-round is going on right now, and I've just given up because I don't feel like writing.

Part of me thinks I should force myself because if I don't write, I am unlikely to get back into the "swing" of writing. On the other hand, why force myself into doing something that is supposed to be a leisure activity, and hopefully a fun one at that?

Arrgh.

If my last fic had gone well, I think I'd be motivated to do it again, but since it didn't go well, I am feeling anti-motivated. Even though I know intellectually that if I can jump-start myself into writing more, I am likely to enjoy it again, and also likely to get over feeling "rusty" (which hopefully will make me more likely to write a good story).

Comments

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

Don't force your writing.

I'm not sure I follow you regarding your previous story - but then I don't know what was in your mind when you set out to write it. I've suggested this before, but perhaps you should try using a beta-reader - someone whom you can bounce ideas off - rather than someone to point out typos, etc (beta-reader is a fairly broad role after all)?

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

An idea beta is a really, really interesting idea. I know you've suggested it before, but for some reason, it sounds more like what I need right now.

Well, that and a motivation beta. Do those exist?

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

Well yes, motivation is another thing a good beta can offer you - I call it cheerleading... (Though the pompoms are strictly optional!)

[thisbluespirit]

Well, if writing isn't fun, and you don't want to, that's fair enough. But it kind of sounds as if you do want to write, or you wouldn't be bothered?

Anyway, I liked your last fic a lot. Sometimes the internet is frighteningly quiet. It doesn't necessarily mean anything about the story at all. (My last few DW fics mostly got 0 comments at Teaspoon. It's scary. That never used to happen to me, and I don't think my writing suddenly got that much worse. In some cases, so much more obscure, of course!) I think the way people view the internet now on mobile devices is making it less interactive in the way it used to be - if you can show appreciation by like/kudos, that's easy on a tablet/iphone/e-reader, or reblogging - if you want to type in actual comments, you need to remember to come back to your pc or laptop.

I for one would love to see more of your writing - as long as you want to write. ♥ (Plus, this was a 50ficlet one, wasn't it? So experimenting was part of your original point in taking up the claim, wasn't it? And you did that.)

And even if you're not writing, I enjoy talking with you here on LJ and I miss you when you're not around, although obviously you have lots of other stuff to do. I know you've been busy, so maybe even some of this is down to tiredness, too?

Perhaps you need to make another vid instead? Pick up a requested prompt somewhere? Write in a different fandom! Take up iconing! (Not ironing). Or fannish crafts. Or something. Adopt a new pseudonym and secretly write Ten/Rose... ;-p (Well, maybe I'm not being entirely serious, but sometimes Something Different helps in all sorts of things we do.)

Anyway, whatever you do, I hope you soon stop feeling frustrated about it. And I did like your story quite a lot.

(And, hey, new who just around the corner - I'm sure that'll make things better!!)

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

I do want to write, and not only that, I think it would be good for me to write -- it would provide an important creative outlet that I think I've been missing. Although I think you're right and I could also satisfy it by making another fanvid. Certainly if I continue to be stalled in my writing, I think fanvidding will help me feel better. Not sure about writing in another fandom or taking up a random prompt, as both of those things would probably cause me stress. Although I do kind of like the idea of adopting a new pseudonym and trying to write Things Dbskyler Would Never Write -- LOL!

Anyway, I liked your last fic a lot. Sometimes the internet is frighteningly quiet. It doesn't necessarily mean anything about the story at all. (My last few DW fics mostly got 0 comments at Teaspoon. It's scary. That never used to happen to me, and I don't think my writing suddenly got that much worse. In some cases, so much more obscure, of course!) I think the way people view the internet now on mobile devices is making it less interactive in the way it used to be - if you can show appreciation by like/kudos, that's easy on a tablet/iphone/e-reader, or reblogging - if you want to type in actual comments, you need to remember to come back to your pc or laptop.

Interesting observation. So you think there are fewer reviews in general going around? I definitely pay too much attention to reviews, and it's possible that the flaws in my latest fic really stood out to me on the re-read because it did so poorly on Teaspoon. I know in my head that reviews don't always reflect quality, and I've even often noticed that in other people's stories (in both directions *g*), but I still have a hard time divorcing popularity from quality in my own work. I really have to work on that, I know. Anyway, thanks for the reassurance that you did like it and weren't just being nice when you reviewed it (unless you're just trying to be nice now . . .)

I know you've been busy, so maybe even some of this is down to tiredness, too?

That's likely, especially because things haven't been going that well lately with one of my work projects. I thought I would be done with it three weeks ago, but it's causing me overtime headaches (and requiring unpaid work). However, it is finally close to completion, and once it's done, I will probably start to feel better about everything.

And yes, S7 is on its way!!!! That will probably help a lot. :D

[thisbluespirit]

Although I do kind of like the idea of adopting a new pseudonym and trying to write Things Dbskyler Would Never Write -- LOL!

And then you could plagiarise yourself and complain about your bad behaviour and everything... :-D

I think there are fewer reviews, yes. Look at the responses to recs on calufrax now to a couple years ago. It varies, but you don't get the amount you did to begin with. Teaspoon is frighteningly quiet. AO3 is a little more active - mainly Kudos, but some comments, and that's reassuring. But I do think that's the case - and it seems logical. People are using and accessing the internet in a different way now to just two or three years ago.

And, yes. Lack of reviews is not nice and makes you shrivel up inside and not want to write. I feel like that, too. I just have got to a place where I'm just going to write what I want to write and not worry about it so much. But at the moment I can tell myself I am being obscure and that is why. But there.

Anyway, thanks for the reassurance that you did like it and weren't just being nice when you reviewed it (unless you're just trying to be nice now . . .)

Don't worry. I'm not that great at praising things I don't like. (It was interesting! I liked that bit... ;-p) Actually, I'm sure when you posted it, I read it and really loved it and had things to say, but I was too tired to even manage what I did say for ages. My brain won't formulate proper responses to things sometimes.

S7 - 1 week tomorrow! \o/

[pitry.livejournal.com]

To add on lost_spook's comment - sometimes the internet reacts in the exact opposite way to what I'd expect it too. If you yourself don't like your fic that much, fair enough - but I know that I've posted fic that I still think was great and it was greeted by crickets, while other fics which I thought weren't as good got more than their fair share of attention. Of course, knowing this doesn't help to motivate you into writing, but, y'know, just as an aside.

I do have a practical advice though! Fic_rush is great when you're actually writing, but it's not very good to get you out of fic-writing lethargy (in fact, I think, it does the exact opposite - it's great for social interaction and then... you don't write). Sometimes you could get excited about writing a fic by talking about it/planning it with someone, though. My next week is going to be a bit hectic and after that I'll probably drop off the map for 10 days or so, but afterwards not only will I have a bit of time, I will also be in your time zone. So if you'd like long silly chats about your fic to get you excited about writing again I'd be really happy to participate :D

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

I know that I've posted fic that I still think was great and it was greeted by crickets, while other fics which I thought weren't as good got more than their fair share of attention

Yep, and I really, really shouldn't let the internet dictate what I think of my own stories, but it's possible that I do. Although I really, really shouldn't. I envy you your objectivity!

Sometimes you could get excited about writing a fic by talking about it/planning it with someone, though. My next week is going to be a bit hectic and after that I'll probably drop off the map for 10 days or so, but afterwards not only will I have a bit of time, I will also be in your time zone. So if you'd like long silly chats about your fic to get you excited about writing again I'd be really happy to participate :D

OMG, I would LOVE to take you up on that! Especially as you are a perfect fit for the fic I most want to work on right now. And yes, you're even going to be in my time zone! Let's do it!!!!!!! Send me a PM once you're all moved and settled in and ready to waste some time on someone else's fanfic. : ) And thank you!

[pitry.livejournal.com]

Excellent! A PM shall very much be sent once I've settled down (wheeeeee :D also extra wheee for being the perfect fit for the fic :D:D)