Fic: Type 40
Oct. 17th, 2015 12:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dbskylerTitle: Type 40
Rating: All ages
Characters: The TARDIS
Word count: 650
Summary: The latest release in TT Capsule technology: the Type 40!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction, offered freely. Doctor Who and all characters belong to the BBC.
A/N: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
who_contest. Prompt: Release
Announcing the latest release in TT Capsule technology: the Type 40! Here are just a few of the features that are new and improved from the now-obsolete Type 39:
-- Dimensionally transcendental in 456 additional dimensions.
-- Convenient six-person steering, with mallet accessory.
-- Retroactive cross-temporal naming feature. Come up with your own acronym for the TT Capsule, and see it spread through time and space!*
-- Rooms for everything the well-traveled Time Lord might need: swimming pool, library, wardrobe, Zero Room, Cloister Room (with bell), boot cupboard.
-- Secondary control room, for when one control room just isn't enough control.
-- Extra corridors, because you can never have too many corridors.
-- No longer prone to catch fire upon materialization. (Warning: May still catch fire when traveling to out-of-sync pockets of time in the Medusa Cascade, or when regenerating inside after holding off the regeneration for a long period. We took a peek at the future, and these problems won't be fixed until the Type 47. Pre-order your Type 47 now!**)
-- Improved temporal grace. The Type 39's temporal grace was known for regularly failing, allowing weapons to work inside it most of the time. With the Type 40, weapons will not work inside it (most of the time).
-- New Stable-eezeTM chameleon circuit. Ever come back to your Type 39 Capsule to find that it had randomly changed shape while you were gone? The Type 40's Stable-eezeTM chameleon circuit will keep your Capsule's shape stable for centuries. Also available with a "new paint " option to keep your Capsule looking sharp!
-- Blue stabilizers. No more having to put up with those boring red stabilizers.
-- Ketchup and mustard dispensers, because the quality of the food from the Food Machine won't be improved until the Type 53. (See note about the Type 47.)
-- New desktops. Who hasn't gotten bored of their control room after the first three hundred years? Well, with the new Type 40, never again! Here are just a few of the many desktop variations now available:
Roundels with white walls
Roundels with different white walls
Roundels with coral
Roundels with staircases
Roundels with roundels
-- Easy-to-operate room deletion function, because who doesn't want to be able to get rid of rooms at a moment's notice? Use it to entertain your friends at interior decoration parties, or to play pranks on them by suddenly getting rid of the room they're standing in. (Not recommended with friends who have reached the end of their regeneration cycle without a hardwired failsafe to deposit them back in the control room.)
-- Keyless entry system. Forgot your keys? Simply snap your fingers, and the doors will open. Full instructions on how to operate this system are in the instruction manual.
-- Handbrake. (Remember to turn this off for noiseless operation.)
— — — — —
*After future activation of this feature, the TT Capsule will be called a TARDIS. Due to a manufacturing error, these initials will stand for either Time and Relative Dimension in Space, or Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. We apologize for the inconvenience.
**Do not try to use your Type 40 to travel into the future to obtain a Type 47. If Time Lords could willy-nilly bring future technology into the past, the Black Scrolls of Rassilon would have been the Black Flash Drives of Rassilon.
Editor's note: The above document was brought back from an archeological expedition by Professor R. Song of Luna University. Although its exact provenance is unknown, Professor Song claims that it is an example of an advertisement from the race known as Time Lords. Although most scholars believe that Time Lords are mythological, and would never stoop to advertising even if they did exist, the full text of the document is presented here as a service to our readers, under the assumption that Professor Song would never write this up herself as a joke.
Rating: All ages
Characters: The TARDIS
Word count: 650
Summary: The latest release in TT Capsule technology: the Type 40!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction, offered freely. Doctor Who and all characters belong to the BBC.
A/N: Written for
who_contest. Prompt: ReleaseAnnouncing the latest release in TT Capsule technology: the Type 40! Here are just a few of the features that are new and improved from the now-obsolete Type 39:
-- Dimensionally transcendental in 456 additional dimensions.
-- Convenient six-person steering, with mallet accessory.
-- Retroactive cross-temporal naming feature. Come up with your own acronym for the TT Capsule, and see it spread through time and space!*
-- Rooms for everything the well-traveled Time Lord might need: swimming pool, library, wardrobe, Zero Room, Cloister Room (with bell), boot cupboard.
-- Secondary control room, for when one control room just isn't enough control.
-- Extra corridors, because you can never have too many corridors.
-- No longer prone to catch fire upon materialization. (Warning: May still catch fire when traveling to out-of-sync pockets of time in the Medusa Cascade, or when regenerating inside after holding off the regeneration for a long period. We took a peek at the future, and these problems won't be fixed until the Type 47. Pre-order your Type 47 now!**)
-- Improved temporal grace. The Type 39's temporal grace was known for regularly failing, allowing weapons to work inside it most of the time. With the Type 40, weapons will not work inside it (most of the time).
-- New Stable-eezeTM chameleon circuit. Ever come back to your Type 39 Capsule to find that it had randomly changed shape while you were gone? The Type 40's Stable-eezeTM chameleon circuit will keep your Capsule's shape stable for centuries. Also available with a "new paint " option to keep your Capsule looking sharp!
-- Blue stabilizers. No more having to put up with those boring red stabilizers.
-- Ketchup and mustard dispensers, because the quality of the food from the Food Machine won't be improved until the Type 53. (See note about the Type 47.)
-- New desktops. Who hasn't gotten bored of their control room after the first three hundred years? Well, with the new Type 40, never again! Here are just a few of the many desktop variations now available:
Roundels with white walls
Roundels with different white walls
Roundels with coral
Roundels with staircases
Roundels with roundels
-- Easy-to-operate room deletion function, because who doesn't want to be able to get rid of rooms at a moment's notice? Use it to entertain your friends at interior decoration parties, or to play pranks on them by suddenly getting rid of the room they're standing in. (Not recommended with friends who have reached the end of their regeneration cycle without a hardwired failsafe to deposit them back in the control room.)
-- Keyless entry system. Forgot your keys? Simply snap your fingers, and the doors will open. Full instructions on how to operate this system are in the instruction manual.
-- Handbrake. (Remember to turn this off for noiseless operation.)
— — — — —
*After future activation of this feature, the TT Capsule will be called a TARDIS. Due to a manufacturing error, these initials will stand for either Time and Relative Dimension in Space, or Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. We apologize for the inconvenience.
**Do not try to use your Type 40 to travel into the future to obtain a Type 47. If Time Lords could willy-nilly bring future technology into the past, the Black Scrolls of Rassilon would have been the Black Flash Drives of Rassilon.
Editor's note: The above document was brought back from an archeological expedition by Professor R. Song of Luna University. Although its exact provenance is unknown, Professor Song claims that it is an example of an advertisement from the race known as Time Lords. Although most scholars believe that Time Lords are mythological, and would never stoop to advertising even if they did exist, the full text of the document is presented here as a service to our readers, under the assumption that Professor Song would never write this up herself as a joke.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-17 11:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-17 12:37 pm (UTC)This is freaking GENIUS. You are posting it on Teaspoon and Ao3, I hope I hope I hope?
(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-17 03:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-17 05:45 pm (UTC)I'm grinning so much here, you know...
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Date: 2015-10-20 03:53 am (UTC)OMG, I DIED. This was smashingly perfect!! Thank you, thank you for the laugh! I totally needed it! And I don't think I'll stop squeeing about the perfection for a while!
*HUGS*
(no subject)
Date: 2015-10-20 05:33 am (UTC)In other words: sure, why not? ;)
Thanks for reading, and I'm happy it made you laugh!
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