Fic: On the Benefits of Having an Attic

[dbskyler]

Title: On the Benefits of Having an Attic
Rating: G
Characters: Sarah Jane, K-9
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction, offered freely. Doctor Who and all characters belong to the BBC.
Summary: Have returned home with K-9. Very happy that the Doctor sent him to me as a gift.
A/N: Written for 50ficlets. Prompt: Special delivery.



3 January, 1982

Have returned home with K-9. Very happy that the Doctor sent him to me as a gift. I've always wanted a dog.

4 January

Took K-9 for a walk today. Next time, will choose a day when it's not raining. Will also try to choose a route without mud. Or gravel paths.

5 January

Hair dryer is burned out, but K-9 is finally dry, and only a little rusty.

12 January

It's nice that unlike other dogs, K-9 doesn't chew leather or dig holes out back. I also think he'll be staying off the sofa after today's rocking chair incident.

14 January

Trying to teach K-9 to bark. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if "Ahem, Mistress. Ruff ruff!" will work to scare away intruders.

16 January

Postman came today with a package. K-9 didn't bark, but he did quiz the postman with old "Mastermind" questions, which seemed to work just as well. Hopefully next time the postman won't be quite as startled and will stay to deliver the package.

17 January

Received package after going down to the post office to retrieve it. Package turned out to contain some old books that I had left behind on the TARDIS. If I'd wanted them, I'd have taken them with me when I left. Why did the Doctor return them to me? Couldn't he have stored them in the TARDIS library? How does he even know where I live now, anyway?

18 January

Box of books from the TARDIS is missing all of my Agatha Christie novels, even the romance ones. I always knew the Doctor was secretly reading them.

19 January

Asked K-9 if he knows how the Doctor has learned where I live. K-9 has now unexpectedly developed laryngitis.

26 January

Came home today to discover a pile of record albums on my front doorstep. Why is the Doctor returning all of my things? Is it that much of a problem to have some of my belongings still on his TARDIS? Does it bother him to have reminders of me around? Anyway, that Bay City Rollers album was his, not mine.

27 January

Wow, I'd forgotten how good the Bay City Rollers were.

1 February

Today the pink sailor suit mysteriously showed up in my closet. Obviously the Doctor is at it again, because didn't I leave that on the TARDIS? I can't believe I wouldn't have noticed if I'd had the suit this whole time. On the other hand, it was hanging next to the pink-striped overalls, so perhaps I've just been overlooking it.

3 February

Have decided that if the Doctor is going to return my things, then it's only fair that I return his. Brought out the plastic flower in a fake pot and demanded that K-9 find a way to send it to him. Why did I take a plastic flower in a fake pot when I left the TARDIS, anyway?

4 February

Plastic flower is gone. Good. I hope the Doctor gets the message. I suppose I could have also returned his sonic screwdriver that I nicked, but I'd rather keep it. Besides, I've turned it into a sonic lipstick now. Much more stylish than a screwdriver.

10 February

Uh-oh. I must've worried the Doctor, because today I got make-up presents: a stuffed dinosaur, a stuffed spider, a stuffed adipose and a stuffed Loch Ness Monster. Although why he would think I would want stuffed animals as mementos of our time together is beyond me.

11 February

Ooh, the stuffed Loch Ness Monster looks great next to my stuffed owl.

14 February

Valentine's Day, and what do I wake up to? A Sontaran helmet, a Dalek eyestalk and a (fortunately non-working) Cybermat. Honestly, it's as if he's presenting me with dead alien trophies now. Where am I supposed to put all this stuff?

16 February

Have stuck the Cybermat out front and am passing it off as a garden ornament. Fingers crossed.

17 February

Neighbour's cat tried to eat the Cybermat. It's a Cyber-hairball now.

18 February

Aliens came today and tried to steal the neighbour's cat, which was apparently giving off Cyber-residue. Fortunately, K-9 is good at dealing with aliens. He tells me he's also good at stopping up black holes, which will be handy the next time a black hole shows up in the back garden. That could be any day now.

20 February

The Doctor must be redecorating, because he's left me an entire section of the TARDIS wall. I think it's from the boot cupboard, but it's hard to tell. I have absolutely nowhere to put it. What with old books, records, clothes, alien pieces and now this, I have completely run out of space. Am hoping for a black hole to show up in the back garden so I can dump it all in. Fingers crossed.

24 February

No black hole, but yet more alien artifacts from the Doctor. Enough is enough. Have decided to move. Am threatening K-9 with disassembly if he lets on our new address. Showed him the sonic lipstick so he knows I mean it.

1 March

Have moved into a new house in Ealing. Very nice place, and K-9 swears that the Doctor no longer knows where we are. Can finally get on with my life now.

2 March

Happy that the new house has an attic, just in case.

Comments

[boro-girl.livejournal.com]

Have just giggled my way through this. So very funny! Loved how developed over the months and her attitude to the Doctor returning her things!

(One little, tiny quibble is your American spelling. If this were indeed Sarah Jane's diary then she would refer to her neighbour, not her neighbor.)

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the feedback! I've never tried to adopt British spelling in my writing for Doctor Who because I've always assumed (correctly or incorrectly) that American spelling isn't that distracting, although I definitely try hard to keep "Americanisms" out of the words themselves. But you make a good point in that this story is supposedly Sarah herself writing these things down, and of course she would use British spelling. I will edit -- thank you! Was that the only one? (One of the reasons I don't try for British spelling is because I'm bound to get it wrong . . .)

[boro-girl.livejournal.com]

Other than the fact we tend to say "sofa" rather than "couch", not really! And even then you'll find the odd person who'll call it a couch.

I'm usually not bothered about Brit/American spellings in a fic, but as you said - this is what she's written so it should be right. So long as there's consistency I'm happy with either. :o)

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

I'll change to "sofa" -- thanks! Good to know that the spelling doesn't usually throw you out of a story in and of itself, as I have sometimes wondered about that (although not enough to do anything about it).

[evil_plotbunny]

Heeeee.

That sounds so much like what the Doctor would do.

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

OMG, what a great icon picture! That's adorable. (Oh, and glad you liked the story! :D)

[evil_plotbunny]

It's from some DW retrospective. Lis Sladen and her daughter, Sadie (who played Nat in the audios).

[thisbluespirit]

It's from (More Than) 30 Years in the TARDIS. ;-) (I have a much-worn copy of the video!)

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

I haven't seen that! Hmm, it seems to be still available on VHS, and I might have to look into getting it (I do still own a VCR, after all).

[sleepismyfriend.livejournal.com]

You can also watch it on YouTube. That's how I watched it. ;0)

Your story cheered me to no end! I love how he sent her stuffed animals after she sent the flower back! lololol.

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Really glad you liked it! I had fun imagining the stuffed animals he would send her. : )

[thisbluespirit]

It kept me going through the rather Doctor-less 1990s. Some bits are, of course, way outdated - it was made before even the TV Movie.

[weimlady.livejournal.com]

Definitely giggleworthy! Thanks for that! And the US spelling didn't bother me a bit. Can't imagine why. *eye roll*

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed! (And yeah, not only do I not even notice American spelling, I often won't notice blatant Americanisms in DW fic either, although in my own writing I do make a conscious effort to look for them.)

[paranoidangel]

Hahaha. I like K9 quizzing the postman.

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It just seemed like the sort of thing he would do, although it was also of course inspired by John Leeson's background as a question setter for the show. : )

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

LOL Very amusing... Loved SJ threatening K9 with disassembly!

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

I don't know if she would've gone through with it, but I'm sure she would have been very good at making a very scary threat!

[persiflage-1.livejournal.com]

Oh yes she would!

[pitry.livejournal.com]

OH, this is *brilliant*.

I would have started quoting the best bits, only it's a bit hard cos it would require quoting 3/4 of the thing.

Extra love for the stuffed animals, though. I wonder, did he go forward in time and buy DW merchandise? :D

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks!

The stuffed animals were of course inspired by Owlie, the stuffed owl that Sarah is clutching when she leaves the TARDIS. That'd be funny if the stuffed adipose came from the BBC merchandising dept., but a bit too "meta" for me -- I just liked imagining that they'd met an adipose somewhere along the lines and he found a stuffed one for her. I'm not actually sure if they make stuffed Loch Ness Monsters, but if they don't, they should. Maybe they make them in the future?

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

They did in 1979. I wanted one desperately, but had spent my pocket money for the day.

[shadowturquoise.livejournal.com]

Bahahahahahhaah! Very funny, although I do feel sorry for the cat!

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, the cat was fine, it just had an interesting two days. (As a cat owner myself, I'd never let one come to harm, even a fictional one.)

[thisbluespirit]

I giggled most of the way through - that was great fun! :-D

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Oh, good! As I said, I was in the mood for crackfic . . . but there's nothing worse than crackfic that falls flat.

[spydurwebb.livejournal.com]

Oh this is beyond brilliant! I laughed the whole way through. The Cyber-hairball had me totally rolling!

Now I'm going to have Bye Bye Baby by the Bay City Rollers going through my head the rest of the night! Thanks for that!!! ;-)

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed the Cyber-hairball joke! Personally, I've always thought that a (dead) Cybermat would make a really good cat toy.

And sorry (or you're welcome?) about "Bye Bye Baby." I originally was going to have Sarah play "Saturday Night" since that song is synonymous with the Bay City Rollers over here in the U.S. (at least for people my age), but then Google told me that the song wasn't as huge of a hit in the U.K., so I decided to not mention any specific song. I'm not sure if it would be better to have "Saturday Night" in your head, though . . . in fact, maybe that would be worse? ; )

[spydurwebb.livejournal.com]

I think my cat would enjoy playing with a dead Cybermat - shame I don't have one of those lying about, she needs a new toy at the moment.

Actually, the first thing that DID go through my head was Saturday Night, but then I quickly banished that and went with Bye Bye Baby instead! (It's bad enough all I have to do is *think* about a disco song and it's stuck in my head all day.)

[lullabymoon]

LOL This is awesome and I completely adore it! ♥

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you! : )

[neadods.livejournal.com]

This is hilarious and charming all at once.

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

What a great compliment -- thank you!

[netgirl-y2k.livejournal.com]

*Giggles*

Oh, this made me laugh. Thank you.

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so happy I made you laugh, because your stories have made me laugh so often! In fact, "The Further Adventures of Handy the Wonder Clone" just may have inspired me to try using the diary format for this fic. : )

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

Started reading the first couple entries out loud to hubby when he looked at me funny for the strange laughing noises.

Ended up reading out the whole thing, because nothing could be left out.

So. Much. Funny!

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it!

[cosmic-llin.livejournal.com]

Haha, this is so cute!

Box of books from the TARDIS is missing all of my Agatha Christie novels, even the romance ones. I always knew the Doctor was secretly reading them.

For some reason I really love this bit.

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Thanks! The idea amused me, so I'm glad it amuses other people too!

[xtrue-coloursx.livejournal.com]

Haha, that was so sweet. And the bit about the Bay City Rollers makes me laugh. Especially since I am also from Scotland

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Hey, she traveled in the mid-70's! The Bay City Rollers were IN! : )

[erinptah]

I lol'd over at least half of these.

K-9's attempts to mimic Real Dog Behavior are especially adorable. (The poor postman XD)

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

Oh yay, it's always nice to hear when people actually LOL at crackfic! And yes, I wouldn't be surprised if that postman never returned. :D

[primsong.livejournal.com]

This was such fun! I'm so glad it was brought to my attention, because that made a very enjoyable afternoon read X-D An entire section of the wall? Loved the stuffed animals - haha!

[dbskyler.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, the wall was inspired by this:

click here for the TARDIS wall

I had a lot of fun with the stuffed animals. Glad you enjoyed it!